


Some Friendly Advice

by preblematic



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aang being confused about boners, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M, Polyamory, Sexuality Crisis, and also being gay, and then i realized, i couldn't figure out how to end this fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-02-06 03:47:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1843171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/preblematic/pseuds/preblematic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aang seeks counsel from his friends about his feelings for Zuko.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Man to Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just bought all the A:TLA DVDs off of Amazon. Obligatory Zukaang fic to celebrate.

It all started, really, with Katara. When Aang had given her back her necklace, and she had asked a favor of him that sparked strange thoughts.

Kiss Zuko? She had been joking of course, and he had laughed along with her, not really thinking about it until later that night. The other two had fallen asleep, but someone had to keep Appa company as he flew them without rest. However, late at night was the best time for stupid thoughts you would regret in the morning, and Aang entertained the thought.

What if he did kiss Zuko? He did enjoy teasing the older boy during their numerous skirmishes. It made fighting more enjoyable, and though they tried to avoid it as much as possible, the young Avatar knew that another confrontation was inevitable.

Maybe he would do it. The look of shock on the firebender's face would be  _priceless_. He laughed to himself a little at the mental image, and decided that kissing Zuko was definitely a must.

\----

However, it soon became, not an obsession; Aang didn't want to call it that. It wouldn't do for the Avatar to have an  _obsession_ , but it was something of a  _pastime_ for Aang, thinking about kissing Zuko.

It started out as a way to cheer himself up. Whenever the general hopelessness of his situation at times got him down, he would picture Zuko's face, twisted in surprise and possibly disgust after being kissed by him, and it always an least made him smile.

But then it changed somewhere along the way. They didn't see Zuko, and they didn't see him, and they didn't see him, and Aang kinda just assumed he had given up for a while, taken a vacation. He was almost disappointed every time he woke up and wasn't tied up in the hold of the prince's ship.

He thought about kissing Zuko, but not for the comedic effect. Instead of kissing him during battle, Aang though about kissing him quickly, softly, privately, over and over again, and he imagined Zuko kissing back those hands that had tried to kill him so many times wrapping around his shoulders and waist and just holding.

Aang imagined kissing Zuko the way he imagined kissing Katara: soft and slow and just because he wanted to, the way he saw some of the older monks kiss before he had left, but it didn't have the same feeling behind it.

With Katara, it was a gentle warmth and affection; he would even go so far as to call it love. It was constant and comfortable even though it was unrequited. But when he thought about Zuko, well, fire was an appropriate comparison. Zuko was synonymous with danger in his mind, but maybe, being the Avatar, he was naturally drawn torawrd it.

He decided to ask Sokka for advice. The older boy was his go-to--and only--source for advice about these matters. He just hoped that the other was understanding of his predicament.

\----

"Hey, Sokka?" The young Water Tribe man muttered something in his sleep and rolled away from Aang. He tried again. "Sokka?"

It was late. The moon was high in the sky, but they had only made camp about half an hour ago, having needed to find a safe place to do so. Aang had been lying on Appa's tail, facing the stars, until he had sat up and faced Sokka to ask his question. Sokka was closest to Aang, next to the fire, and Katara was on the other side of it. She had been awake the longest of them all, and was sleeping quite soundly.

A great, heaving sigh came from Sokka. "Y'know," he said, popping up out of his sleeping bag to glare at Aang," just because your crazy Avatar monk powers apparently negate your need for sleep,  _some of us_ still need it."

"Sorry," Aang said with a grimace. "But I wanted to ask you about something."

"Can it wait until morning?" the older male whined.

"No!"

"Fine," Sokka groused. He turned toward the Avatar with as much attentiveness as he could muster. "Shoot."

"It's about relationships," Aang started. Sokka quickly glanced toward his sister, and Aang sighed. If only she were the one pacing through his thoughts; he knew how to deal with that.

"Is it...normal to think about boys the same way you think about girls?" This seemed like a safe place to start. He couldn't bust out the real shocker yet; Sokka might faint. "With the same, uh, reactions?"

Sokka blinked. He was not expecting that. He had been preparing to assure Aang that he was fine with him liking Katara, and that if he never made his feelings perfectly clear he'd never know, and that--Avatar or not--if he hurt her, Sokka would end him.

"Uh, I mean," Sokka was at a loss for words for one of the first times in his life. "I guess? Yeah, probably." He had absolutely no clue.

"Oh, that's good," Aang said. He lay back down.

"Was that it?" Sokka asked. Aang nodded. "Then can I ask you a question?"

Aang rolled toward him and propped himself up on an elbow. "Sure. It's only fair I guess."

"Uh, this guy you're thinking about isn't me right?"

"What guy? There isn't  _a_  guy. It's no one in particular. What would make you think that?" He said all of that in one breath, before he processed the rest of Sokka's sentence. "No!" he squeaked," Definitely not! Nope. No."

Sokka wasn't sure if he should be offended by the how adamant Aang's denial was or not. He sighed and resigned himself to not sleeping well in order to help a friend. "Well obviously this is bothering you, so....you wanna...talk about it?"

"Promise not to be mad?"

"Aang, I assure you, there is nothing you can say on this subject that would make me angry," Sokka consoled.

"Nothing?"

" _Nothing_ ," Sokked enthused.

"Zuko," the Avatar said quietly.

Sokka misheard. "Uh, could you repeat that?" he asked.

"Zuko. The guy I've been thinking about--it's Zuko.

"Uh, Aang, did you fall off of Appa at some point and bang your head? Because I'm pretty sure you just said you were thinking about Zuko, romantically. Zuko, prince of the fire nation. The guy who's been trying to kill us all since we found you in the iceberg?"

Aang groaned. "Not  _romantically,"_  he said," just, I don't know. Forget it. It's stupid. I'm stupid. Go back to sleep."

"Can't argue with that," Sokka said. He yawned and lay back down, settling into his sleeping bag. "In the morning I'll tell you all about this freakish, disturbing dream, promise."

"You do that, buddy."

That conversation had not really helped Aang at all. He still had so many questions and no answers.

Where was Zuko? Why wasn't he chasing them? Why did Aang care? Why was he thinking about grabbing on to Zuko's ponytail and kissing him like they were both dying? _Where had that thought come from?_

He screamed quietly in frustrations before lying down angry. He should really try to sleep, but he was still so confused. An idea struck him.

Katara probably knew about boys, right?


	2. The Bro Code

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, part two!

Sokka didn’t mention any “dream” the next morning, to Aang’s great relief, and he decided to not talk to Katara about it. In the light of day, asking the girl you like about the boy you maybe like was a much more daunting task.

He talked to Sokka about it more in the following weeks. The older boy promised he wouldn’t tell anyone, and it was nice to have someone to confide in.

Aang thought about it a lot when they got to the North Pole. The chances of Zuko being able to get past the tribe’s defenses with just his single ship were nearly nonexistent, and so were the chances of Aang seeing him. Well, that’s what he thought.

He had been having dreams, vivid dreams. Being the Avatar, Aang was accustomed to strange dreams, but not of this variety. The variety where no one had clothes and everything was dark and hot and nice, and Zuko was always there. 

He had experienced something similar before, though to a lesser intensity, with Katara. Everything seemed to be more intense where the Fire Nation prince was concerned, and it was driving Aang up the wall, literally. He liked to sit on the top of the city wall to meditate and think about life, which he had seemed to have been doing a lot lately.

And then the Fire Nation attacked. And then Aang chastised himself again an again for being hopeful that Zuko was there. And then the Avatar woke up in a cave with the object of his fascination.

Zuko was beat up. Aang didn’t know  
What had happened since they had last met, but the prince looked worse for the wear. And that should not have excited Aang the way it did.

He didn’t have time for this. He had to leave; he had to get away. He didn’t want to leave, but he did it anyways. He didn’t get far. Zuko was determined to keep his prize, and also Aang’s hands were tied. That, uh, that probably had something to do with the foiled escape to be honest.

Luckily, the avatar had friends who were apparently much less saught after kidnap targets. Any other time, Aang would’ve rolled his eyes at sokka’s comment about the quality of the rope used on him, but for now he was more concerned in escaping. Sokka clambered up on to the flying bison, and Aang was set to make his escape.

Until he looked down, and Zuko was lying in the snow. He couldn’t just leave him there to die.

Zuko was warm. Well, the bits of him that had been out in the wind and cold, anyway; it almost hurt Aang’s mostly numb hands. He had a fleeting thought of how the prince would work well as a heater, before he realized that he didn’t have time to think about that.

He set the unconcious prince in Appa’s saddle and took off.

——

Days later, after Zuko and Yue and the moon spirit and the Avatar state, while Aang and Katara were helping in the rebuilding of the city, Aang couldn’t keep his mind from wandering. Where would Zuko go now? Would he continue his search? Would Aang see him again?

The Avatar really, truly wanted to believe that they could be at least friends. It was different, somehow, having Zuko chase them around. The Fire Lord was just this…thing. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Aang knew, logically that the Fire Nation’s leader was a person, but it was easier to just imagine him as this faceless evil that Aang would impersonally destroy, prefereably in a big explosion.

But Zuko. He knew Zuko, sorta. He saw him as a person, granted a person trying to kill him, but a person who was smart and confused and loved his uncle. A person who could be saved. A person he kind of wanted to kiss. A person that he didn’t want to kill and didn’t want to die and all around just wanted to keep alive and get to know and save from himself.

Aang sighed heavily, making himself float a little, before he dropped back into a wayward snowdrift, unable to concentrate on the rebuilding. Katara noticed and stopped her work to go investigate.

"Slacking off again?" she asked with a friendly air, looking down on him in his snowy nest. Her smile drooped when she noticed his face. "What’s wrong?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing." He lifted himself up to his feet and offered a very unconvincing smile. "What’s next?"

"Aang, you’ve been acting weird ever since the attack," Katara said with concern." I figured you were coming to terms with what happened and that letting you handle it yourself would be the best option, but you really seem down lately. Do you want to talk about it?" 

Aang blinked and thought for a moment before sighing in defeat and dropping to the ground again. “It’s Zuko,” he admitted,” I’m worried about him.”

"Well, I highly doubt he’d be able to do anything to us here," Katara assured him.

"No, I’m not worried about him attacking us."

"Oh." She was silent for a moment. "Then what are you worried about?"

"It’s nothing," Aang said. "Let’s get back to working on this wall."

——

Sokka was sitting on the edge of the bed in the room he had been given at the North Pole. He had removed his coat and one shoe when Katara appeared. “I’m worried about Aang,” she said with no prelude.

Sokka raised an eyebrow at her. “Ever heard of knocking?” he asked. She had just barged in to his room, after all. He pulled off his other shoe and asked,” What’s wrong with him?” Sokka got up to grab his skin of water and take a drink. 

"I don’t know!" she said, throwing her hands in the air. "I asked, and all he said was that he was worried about Zuko."

Sokka choked. He spluttered water all over the floor for a solid twenty seconds before he could stop coughing long enough to speak. “Oh, did he now. Uh, that’s odd,” he said, voice rising in pitch and speed as he spoke,” I have no idea why that would be.”

"Uh-huh." Katara raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. "What do you know?"

"Well, y’know. Avatars and their crazy shenanigans, uh," Sokka gulped and twiddled looked down at his hands, twiddling his fingers. "Turns out he’s kind of, uh, interested—really interested—in Zuko, y’know, romantically and stuff." He flinched as he spoke, both from betraying Aang’s trust this way and from Katara’s inevitable reaction.

"What?! That’s insane!"

"Hey," Sokka said, putting his hands up," I thought he was crazy too, but he told me this in confidence, and I really don’t think it’ll affect our plans."

“‘Won’t affect our plans’?! The Avatar has some sort of hopeless crush on the Fire Lord’s son, and you think it ‘won’t affect our plans’?!”

"Shh!" Sokka hissed, throwing his hands over his sister’s mouth. "Why don’t we just tell the whole North Pole?! See, this is exactly why I didn’t tell you; I knew you’d be upset."

"I’m gonna go talk to him," she said, turning to leave.

"No, don’t," Sokka warned. He grabbed his sister’s wrist. " He’s really confused about it, trust me. You yelling at him’ll only make things worse. He knows what he has to do, an I don’t see any harm in him holding out hope that he can turn mister flaming jerk prince into a decent human being with time. Just, let him have his daydreams."

Katara looked at her brother, wondering how long he had known about this, but she relaxed and lightly pulled her wrist from his grip. “Okay, I won’t say anything; just, don’t let this become a problem, Sokka.”

"I’ll be there to offer helpful, friendly advice whenever he needs it."

“‘Helpful.’”

"Shut up."


	3. Fairy Might've been a Better Nickname

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, giant timeskip.
> 
> God, I feel so dirty writing this like my vernacular and sense of humor doesn’t fit these characters. like i’m corrupting something innocent.

 

     Toph was a gift from the spirit world, Aang was sure. Not as his earthbending teacher, though he was eternally grateful for that, but for her extremely blunt ways.

     A few days after the sleepless night that Azula had caused, she plopped down on to the ground next to him while he was watching the fire spark and crackle. Katara was doing whatever it was Katara did when she had alone time. Probably bending in the nearby river or just enjoying the quiet. Sokka had loudly announced that he was going fishing, but no one held out much hope for his success.

     ”So twinkle toes,” she said, turning her sightless eyes toward the sky and reclining until she was flat on her back. “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

     ”Yeah? Well you are new to the team, so I’ll be happy to fill you in on anything,” he said with a smile.

     ”What d’you think of Zuko?” Aang couldn’t help it, he shivered, and all of the times he’d thought about the young prince since they last met—all of them—rushed unbidden to the forefront of his mind.

     ”And there it is,” Toph said, very satisfied with herself. “Somebody’s got themselves a little crush,” she teased.

     ”I do not!” Aang protested, blushing.

     Toph lifted her foot and wiggled her toes, turning her face toward him. “You’re lying,” she said. “So the Avatar’s in to badboys; that’s a twist.”

     ”Shut up,” Aang murmured, shoving his face into his pulled up knees.

     ”Y’ever jerked off to him?”

     ”Toph!” Aang screeched, voice loud enough to startle small animals from the nearby trees. “That’s- why would you- how do you even—”

     ”I’m sightless not blind, twinkle toes,” Toph said. “I was the champion of an underground fight ring for years. You think I don’t know what guys do when they like someone?” She wiggled her fingers in the air as she spoke.

     ”You’re horrible,” Aang spoke in to the fabric of his pants.

     ”So are you strictly in to boys? Because I definitely read a little heat between you and miss ice over there.”

     ”I have an idea,” Aang said, lifting his head to look at Toph. “Why don’t I ask you all sorts of invasive and unnecessary questions about what you do alone at night and your romantic inclinations, and we can see how you like it!?”

     Toph thought about it for a moment. “Nah,” she said,” this is more fun.”

     ”For you,” Aang hissed, then deflated. “It’s pointless anyway,” he said.

     ”Why’s that?”

     ”Hello, Fire Nation prince? Yeah, ‘Hello, let me just dispose of the smoldering corpse of your father. So, you wanna go to dinner some time?’ Foolproof.” He fell back on the grass and glared at the sky.

     ”His dad’s a pretty bad dude,” Toph offered.

     ”He’s a pretty bad dude! Jet was a pretty bad dude! I’m apparently only in to pretty, bad dudes!”

     ”Or you want them in you,” Toph said, snorting at her own joke.

     ”What?” Aang asked.

     ”Oh. My. Spirits. Are you telling me—are you actually telling me—that you’ve gone this long, and you don’t know how it works?”

     ”How what works?”

     ”Two dudes!” she said, like that cleared everything up. “Y’know.” She made a circle with two of her fingers and moved one finger of her other hand in and out. Aang squinted at her. “Oh my f—you’re so innocent. How have you survived this long?”

     ”I don’t know what you’re saying, but I feel like I should be offended.”

     ”Oh man, are you in for one hell of an education.”

     A few minutes later and Toph had carved in to the ground three groups of crudely illustrated ‘parts’— “Doing the best I can here; these aren’t nearly accurate”—to illustrate the difference between female and male anatomy.

     ”Now sometimes boys will have these,” she said, pointing to what she had just drawn and the other part that went along with it. “And sometimes girls have those,” she pointed to the shaft she had drawn and then shrugged. “It’s not a big deal to me, but sometimes people get mad about it.

     ”Any questions?” Aang shook his head. “Okay, well, that covers anatomy…”

     Toph talked for an hour. She used her bending for rough illustration. “I’ve never actually experienced any of this, but boy do men love to brag.” Lube was important, in all situations, that was mostly was Aang learned from Toph’s lesson. A lesson which only ended because Sokka came back to camp, surprisingly with three fish.

     ”Whatcha talking about,” he asked, throwing some more wood on the fire and plopping down next to Toph. He grabbed a stick, skewered one of the fish, and held it over the fire to cook.

     ”I was just telling sparkles over here about the gritty underground fighting world,” Toph said, and Aang’s first thought was that it was a good thing they finally had a decent liar on their team. 

     ”Cool,” Sokka said,” Mind starting over?”

——

     Aang had a lot of questions for Toph, which she answered as best she could, but, really, two completely inexperienced twelve year olds could only extrapolate so far from hearsay, no matter how dirty one’s sense of humor was.

     One day as they were descending the wall of a canyon so they could practice earthbending at the bottom, Aang had a horrible idea. And Aang, with his habit of saying the first thing that came to his mind, voiced it.

     ” Why don’t we just try it together?” he asked. As soon as the words left his mouth he regretted them, and realized that he really had no desire to do anything even slightly lewd with Toph. No offense to Toph, she was just not his type.

     Toph laughed hard enough to spit out the apple she had been chewing and braced herself against the cliff side in shock so suddenly that her hand accidentally went a foot in to the rock. “You and—you seriously—spirits, Windbag, your head’s more full’a air than I thought.”

     ”Yeah, I take back that entire sentence,” Aang said, face going bright red. “Let’s just forget it ever happened.”

     ”Fine with me,” Toph said.

——

     When they learned that they would be rescuing Zuko along with Katara, both Sokka and Toph had glanced worriedly at Aang.

     ”You think you can handle this?” Sokka asked him.

     ”Of course I can handle this! Why wouldn’t I be able to handle this?! I’m the Avatar!” He pointed his thumb at his own chest as he spoke. Sokka and Toph humored him and apologized  for asking; Iroh looked on in confusion.

     ”As touching as your concern for your friend is; I really think we should be going,” the older man said.

     ”Right, yeah.”

     Aang liked Zuko’s uncle. Mostly because he seemed like a good person, but also because he believed that _Zuko_ wanted to be a good person. And call him selfish, but Aang was grasping at anything he could use to justify his crush. Anything.

He wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince himself or the others that it was okay to feel the way he did. He didn’t examine it too closely, like the jealously he felt toward Katara when he saw how close the two were standing.

Of course, all the justification and willfull ignorance in the world didn’t help him when he died.


	4. Things We Lost in the Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my gift to u

Katara was shocked when one of the first things Aang asked about was Zuko. He posed the question right before their first healing session since he had woken up. Katara nearly spilled water all over herself.

"So, uh, what happened to Zuko?" Aang asked, and the way he sounded almost _hopeful_ just made her want to punch something.

"Oh, I don't know--he probably ran off to live in luxury, now that he's the _prince_ of the _Fire Nation_ again," she hissed. She knew about his little crush on the prince, but surely this was excessive.

"Oh," was Aang's answer.

Katara sighed. "Sorry I snapped at you," she said, turning to him. "It's just, that jerk makes me so mad, you know? Let's get to work on that scar."

"Yeah, such a jerk," was Aang's half-hearted agreement. He shed the red cloak he'd been given, and Katara went to work. Aang tried to focus more on the feelings of healing than the person doing it. He was so confused about everything, and he didn't need to start thinking about his simultaneous crushes right then.

The sudden, jarring realization that he had died--that he had been _dead--_ snapped him out of his melancholy. He died. Katara--Katara _saved_ him, not just saved him; she _brought him back,_ and she was being _modest_ about it. He nearly broke down into tears right there.

\----

Not again, Aang did not want this to happen again. He'd seen it. The hopeless, dreary life people led when they thought he had been dead for a hundred years. He'd seen it and experienced it, and he didn't want that again, didn't want the whole world to be hopeless because of him _again._

Sokka was insisting that it was great, the best thing that could've happened, a strategic advantage. Sokka had not had to deal with the fate of the whole world, the happiness of its people. Sokka didn't know anything!

A ship's horn interrupted their conversation. A Fire Nation vessel was hailing them. Aang would take care of this; he would announce his presence loud and clear. Screw subterfuge and deception; this was Avatar business.

As soon as he tried to support his own weight his entire ribcage felt like Flopsy had squeezed him too tight around the middle. All his bones were in the wrong spots; his muscles had been pulled out and tied in knots. He was sure of it.

"Aang, wait!" Katara said. She put her hands up and walked toward him, like he was a skittish animal, like he was unreasonable. "Remember, they don't know we're not Fire Nation."

Aang wanted to argue. He wanted to scream and tell them all how hiding in the shadows is not what he was meant to do. But as he started to sweat simply from the exertion of standing, he had to admit that theirs was the best course of action.

Hakoda told him to stay calm, and that just made him twice as much _not calm_ as he was before. Why did adults never seem to understand that?

They assumed their hiding places, and Aang complained. Sure, Toph was right that him not _needing_ to do anything was probably the best outcome they could hope for, but it didn't change the fact that it was making him antsy.

Aang didn't want to say he was relieved when the plan wet to hell. So he didn't say it. But he was glad they were not _all_ sitting around doing nothing.

\----

He was going to die, again. He was going to die in the middle of the ocean because he was a failure of an Avatar. He was a failure of a friend.

He looked up when a particularly loud peal of thunder rolled past. The spirit of Roku was hovering before him. Aang was at once relieved and ashamed. His former self was seeing him at one of his lowest moments. He spilled his heart out to him(self?) anyway.

Roku told him it wasn't his fault, and it seemed like a lot of people had told him that in his life. Yue appearing was one of the last things Aang expected. To be honest, he wasn't sure he _could_ save the world again, but he was sure not going to die in the middle of the ocean, not with the spirit of the moon on his side.

He didn't know how long he road the waves back to land. When he finally noticed the blessed feeling of loose sand under his feet, he couldn't scramble to the shore fast enough. he dragged himself clear of the surf, and passed out on the sand.

\----

Okay so they were in the Fire Nation. He could--he could handle this. They could move from place to place and the rest of the group could continue to pretend they didn't hear him screaming and crying at night.

Katara tried to talk to him about it at first, and Aang considered opening up to her. She of all people would understand the anguish of losing the last reminder of your people that you had, but he really didn't want to hear about her dead mother again. He told her it was nightmares; she offered to try healing water if it persisted.

\----

Some guy a whole head taller than him tried to threaten him off his girlfriend in the schoolyard. Aang--or, "Kuzon"--had to fight the urge to tell him that he already had a boyfriend. He wasn't sure why, maybe the prospect of the look on his face. That motivator always seemed to get him into trouble, though.

He was rewarded the next day when the same guy tried to fight him. He knew he shouldn't have been happy about bringing humiliation to someone else, but for a few precious seconds he was. Until the headmaster came out and told him to bring his parents back. Sokka was gonna be so mad, but he was gonna be mad about the party, too, better to get the anger out all at once.

On Ji was the first to start to dance with him, and he got a spike of satisfaction from that. A small part of him hoped that word would get back to Hide after this was all over. He was being petty, but as long as he didn't say it out loud it didn't count.

He looked over and saw Katara sitting by herself, and that just wouldn't do for a friend of the host. She tried to make excuses, but Aang wouldn't have any of it. She needed some fun. They all did.

It turned into them performing for the entire crowd. Aang hadn't had this much undivided attention since the girls on Kyoshi Island, but most of his attention was on Katara. They worked so well as a team; he had forgotten somehow.

"He's the one we want!" Aang stopped his enraptured enjoyment of the music. "The boy with the headband!" the headmaster shouted, pointing at him.

He made his disappearance into the crowd, and to his surprise, they all rallied around to help him. As they flew away after having made their grand escape, Aang was really happy they took the risk. When Katara kissed his cheek, he felt a happiness that was more than just the adrenaline from the chase.

\----

Getting a breakdown of Avatar Roku's life was wonderfully interesting, and surprisingly comforting on the romantic front. He almost wanted to ask if Roku and Sozin had ever--but that was not his place. If Roku had wanted him to know any more than he was told, then Roku would have told him himself.

Aang thought Sozin was a dick. Roku had said that some friendships could transcend lifetimes; Aang couldn't help but feel that this was not one of them. He felt nothing but sadness and anger toward the memory of the man in front of him, who left his oldest friend to die.

It made him hopeful, though, that his older, wiser self thought everyone was worth trying to save.

\----

That stupid daydream he had had about-about _confessing--_ it stayed with him all day. He had so much to think about, so much to consider. It was all screaming at him at once, screaming at him to prepare and be perfect and succeed. There was so much that it all muddled into one, and he couldn't focus on anything.

His heart was beating so fast he thought it might give out. Jumping in the coldest body of water he could find probably didn't help with that, but it made the hallucinations stop.

Aang was so relieved when the others tell him that the bed wasn't _another_ hallucination. He lay down on the most comfortable thing he'd slept on in weeks and sighed in calm contentment.

The thought that he might see Zuko tomorrow crossed his mind. It excited him in a way that made him feel a little bit sick to his stomach, but it wasn't enough to break through his exhaustion. He slept soundly.

\----

This was not how it was supposed to happen. He'd known it was an option, known in the deepest part of his bones when he kissed Katara that all of them wouldn't come back. But it wasn't supposed to happen like this.

 _He_ was supposed to be the casualty. If he had to sacrifice himself to bring Ozai down then that was what he would do. Twelve years old and walking into his own suicide.

It wasn't supposed to be anyone else. They weren't supposed to _fail_. It wasn't supposed to happen like _this_.

He cried as they flew away on Appa. They were silent, shame-filled tears. Katara sat curled into him and _wept_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I originally planned for this to be four chapters but now it looks like it's gonna be at least five  
> sorry to end this chapter on such a fucking downer note, but that's kinda the entirety of the first half of season three soooooo \:
> 
> Merry Christmas y'all


End file.
